Can a personality disorder be “cured”?

“Cure” is not the right word: personality does not change completely, but maladaptive patterns can change significantly. Through consistent psychotherapy, many people with personality disorders reach a state in which the criteria for the disorder are no longer met. Suffering decreases, relationships become more stable, functioning improves. It is a real transformation, but different from “curing” an infection.

Does a diagnosis like this mean I am “a difficult person”?

No. The diagnosis describes patterns that make your life and relationships harder. It shows you what you can work on, and your specialist supports you along the way.

Can I have a personality disorder without realising it?

Very often, yes. The first signal frequently comes from what those close to you notice, or from realising that a pattern keeps repeating (“why do my relationships always end like this?”, “why do I always end up in conflict?”). A specialist assessment can clarify the situation.

Are the labels (“borderline”, “narcissist”) used accurately in the media?

Almost never. These terms are used in popular culture as insults or as simplistic labels, unrelated to their clinical meaning. In everyday language, “borderline” often suggests “emotionally unstable” or “dramatic”; clinically, it is a specific disorder with precise criteria. In everyday language, “narcissist” suggests “selfish”; clinically, it is a much more complex pattern.

Can I keep working during treatment?

Yes, for most patients. Treatment for personality disorders is compatible with normal working life. In some severe forms or during periods of crisis, a temporary adjustment of activities may be needed, but this is rare.

Can my family help me?

It depends on the type of disorder and on the quality of family relationships. For some disorders, involving the family in therapy is useful; for others, the focus is on individual work with the patient. These decisions are made together with the therapist, depending on the case.

Personality disorders

In an emergency: 112 · Romanian Green Anti-Suicide Line 0800 801 200 (free; Friday–Sunday, 19:00–07:00)

What are personality disorders

Personality is the lasting pattern of how each of us thinks, feels, behaves and relates to others. It forms during childhood and adolescence, stabilises in adulthood and is, to a large extent, what makes us “ourselves”.

We speak of a personality disorder when this pattern differs significantly from what is expected in the person’s cultural context and is stable over time, present since adolescence or early adulthood.

About 10% of the population meet, at some point in their life, the criteria for at least one personality disorder. Many people, however, remain undiagnosed for years or decades, because they experience these patterns as “that’s just how I am”.

The difference between a personality trait and a disorder

We all have traits: some people are more withdrawn, others more impulsive or more meticulous. The difference from a disorder shows in a few key points:

Personality trait	Personality disorder
It is a tendency, not a constant	It is a rigid pattern, present in most situations
It adapts to the context	It persists even when it is maladaptive
It does not cause significant suffering	It causes suffering to the person or to those around them
It does not affect functioning	It affects relationships, work, everyday life
It can be managed consciously	It seems automatic, outside one’s control

A disorder is defined by how much a behaviour limits the person’s life, more than by how intense it is.

How they affect everyday life

By their nature, personality disorders are felt in every area of life:

In relationships:

difficulty forming or maintaining close relationships
relationship patterns that repeat themselves, even though they cause suffering
recurrent conflicts, persistent misunderstandings
the feeling that “I can’t manage to find the right people” or “everyone in my life ends up hurting me”

At work:

difficulty adapting to the demands of the workplace
conflicts with colleagues or with authority
frequent job changes
performing below your real abilities

Emotionally:

intense emotions that are hard to manage
a feeling of inner emptiness
rapid shifts between emotional states
marked sensitivity to criticism or rejection

Self-image:

deep doubts about who you are
a self-image that is either excessively positive or deeply negative
the feeling that you are “always fake” or “always inadequate”
difficulty knowing your own values and wishes

Types of personality disorder

The traditional classification divides personality disorders into three groups (clusters). Many people look for information starting from a particular label, such as “borderline”, “narcissist” or “avoidant”, so here is a brief overview.

Cluster A: “odd” or “eccentric” patterns

Characterised by social distance, suspicion or unusual thinking:

Paranoid: generalised mistrust, suspicion, the conviction that others have hostile intentions
Schizoid: emotional detachment, a preference for solitude, a narrow range of expressed emotions
Schizotypal: eccentric thinking and behaviour, difficulties in relationships, sometimes unusual perceptual experiences

Cluster B: “dramatic” or “emotional” patterns

Characterised by intense emotionality, impulsivity or difficulties in emotional regulation:

Borderline: intense instability of emotions, relationships and self-image; a marked fear of abandonment; impulsive or self-destructive behaviours
Narcissistic: grandiosity, an excessive need for admiration, lack of empathy, sensitivity to criticism
Histrionic: constantly seeking attention, excessive emotionality, dramatic behaviour
Antisocial: repeated violation of the rights of others, lack of remorse, often illegal behaviour

Cluster C: “anxious” or “fearful” patterns

Characterised by anxiety, avoidance or a need for control:

Avoidant: extreme sensitivity to rejection, avoiding relationships despite wanting them, intense feelings of inadequacy
Dependent: an excessive need to be taken care of, marked difficulty making decisions alone, fear of separation
Obsessive-compulsive: excessive preoccupation with order, perfectionism, control. It is different from OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), which involves actual obsessions and compulsions.

In practice, few people fit neatly into a single category. That is why modern models also describe personality disorders dimensionally, based on each person’s specific difficulties:

how hard it is for them to form and maintain relationships
how stable their self-image is
how they manage intense emotions
how easily they understand other people’s perspective and empathise with them

A modern assessment combines the categorical label with this profile, which allows a more precise treatment plan.

When to see a specialist

An assessment is worthwhile if:

several of the difficulties described above have been part of your life for many years: in relationships, at work, with emotions or with your self-image
you feel “different” from others in a way that restricts your life
you have thoughts of self-harm or impulsive self-destructive behaviours
you have been diagnosed with depression or anxiety that “does not resolve” with the usual treatments
your family or friends have pointed out repeated patterns of behaviour to you

A specialist can help you understand your patterns, and that can make relationships and everyday life easier.

If thoughts of self-harm frighten you, or you feel you might hurt yourself, call 112 or the Romanian Green Anti-Suicide Line 0800 801 200 (free; Friday–Sunday, 19:00–07:00).

The first step

If you recognise yourself in what you’ve read, book a conversation with one of our specialists. Together, we’ll look at what’s going on and what your options are.

Services: Psychiatry · Psychotherapy · Psychological assessment
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This information is for educational purposes and does not replace a specialist consultation.